Bearing Your Soul To Support Recovery
Considering I have been forced to bear my entire soul as part of the ongoing and grotesque Netflix nightmare that I continue to be subjected to by the corrupt and unethical legal professionals in Cayuga County, NY with some help from some of their Big Red friends, I thought I would share this article along with some very personal letters I wrote in support of treatment and recovery programs. Despite the ongoing and grotesque violations of my Constitutional Rights and Civil Liberties, I am determined to continue turning as many of the pieces of my story into something positive that may provide strength, comfort, and hope to other people out there. I make no apologies whatsoever for maintaining that philosophy in my life and will continue to do so until I am buried in the ground…and even then my decaying body will be offered back to Mother Nature to use for some other positive outcome.
I have publicly stated in several articles and in-person conversations over the years, that I am a recovering alcoholic with over 3 years and 5 months of sobriety to date as of the posting of this article. In order to achieve and maintain this major change in my life, I voluntarily admitted myself to two in-patient treatment programs, the first in 1992 and the second in 2022. There was the option of out-patient treatment program, however, for me personally, I needed the discipline, structure, and more importantly, the focus that an in-patient treatment program provides. During my first program in 1992, I had my immediate family members there for my support. When I started my second program in 2022, I did not have anyone there for me other than the staff members and the other patients, upon whom I am still in contact with some of them today.
As part of this public disclosure, I wanted to let other people know who may be struggling, that regardless of who you are, what your job title is, your economic status, or any of that stuff that people get hung up on as excuses for making poor decisions…just know that it is ok to ask for help. You can use me as an example if it makes you feel better and gives you the strength to make a decision…here is my resume. The fact is, by the time someone has finally come to the conclusion that they need support through a treatment program, everyone else around them already came to the conclusion months, if not years ago.
It is perfectly fine to wake up one day and look in the mirror at the person you see and stare them down directly in their eyes and say…”enough is enough”. Then take the first major step of a new life by getting the help and support needed. There is nothing wrong or embarrassing about seeking treatment. It is part of a natural and wise process of recognizing, acknowledging, and seeking to repair damage caused, and moving forward in a positive light. There is everything wrong by willfully and knowingly continuing to follow the same behaviors and actions that continue to cause so much damage, pain, and suffering to yourself, your family, your friends, your coworkers, and others.
It is a fact that through both the treatment process and life after you achieve sobriety, you will clearly see the depth and extent of the long-lasting damage your own behaviors and actions have caused to so many people. The truth does indeed hurt sometimes. However, through the process you will also be reintroduced to the better person in yourself who is giving yourself the power to take back control over your own life. Through the process you will be provided the opportunity to heal yourself and begin healing with the other people in your life who you care about. At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with taking a break in life to get yourself regrouped, get your mental and physical health back together, and get yourself back on track with a renewed sense of purpose and appreciation for your own life and that of your family, friends, and your community.
Treatment and recovery programs are very skilled at forcing their patients into facing their past and working through root cause issues. This is done in both group settings and individual sessions with counselors. The process includes fixed schedules that incorporate a mix of large group meetings, small group meetings, individual meetings with counselors, various social activities, and a number of options available during free time. Throughout the process there is both a mix of acceptance of responsibility for one’s past actions and behaviors, and more importantly, the discussion and sharing of steps, tools, and resources available for beginning a new chapter in life.
I will admit that during my first treatment program, I was not fully committed as I was during the second treatment program. I made a very honest effort at participating in all of the activities to the extent possible and be an active participant and listener in group meetings. During my free time I took advantage of the large library of recovery related books and spent a lot of time writing as well. I read through so many books over the course of that month long program that I lost count. I also took the opportunity to try and be a good Catholic and actually read through the Bible again in its entirety. It wasn’t exactly what I remembered as a child, but I personally found the exercise very informative. I will also give credit for going through that process as helping to clear my mind. I spent quite a bit of time just talking to the other people and staff who were there and listening to their stories, especially to new patients who arrive as other patients complete the program and go back home.
Every person has different ways of receiving, retaining, and processing information, and acting on information provided through these treatment programs. Personally, the key to success in these treatment programs is simple engagement of yourself to do something for yourself and invest in your own future by giving yourself a break and being committed and disciplined to the process. It is completely counterintuitive to most people because everyone thinks they are too busy to take time out for a treatment program, but in reality they are just wasting time and energy following the same negative behaviors and actions that continue providing negative rewards. When an individual truly wants to make a positive change in their lives, then they will put in the true effort to make that change in whatever way they can. For those people who make this commitment to themselves, they will be rewarded with a more positive life than they imagined or more than likely, one they had forgotten about. Most importantly, an opportunity is given to reconnect with the people in their life that they care about…including their own.
It is also my hope this public disclosure will highlight the importance of supporting people you care about when they are going through tough challenges in their lives and seeking a treatment program. In many cases, a simple letter, phone call, or any acknowledgement can be the candlelight in an otherwise very dark environment that can give the person in treatment the comfort, hope, and strength to keep moving forward. Despite the pain and suffering that may have resulted from behaviors and actions of the person entering treatment, it is incredibly important for family members to stay engaged to the degree the person in treatment wants. This is not to say to forget the past and the damage caused, however, it is best to forgive and try to work together moving forward to repair the damage done.
For those family members out there dealing with someone who they care about who may be in need of a treatment program, please be aware that trying to force the issue when the person is not ready can backfire. Simple encouragement, listening, and offers of support are the best thing you can do until the person you care about…cares about themself enough to take some ACTION to improve their own life. There is also nothing wrong with having some tough love if that is required for some people to make the necessary changes.
When the time comes either voluntarily or involuntarily, your support will be key to their recovery. Many treatment programs have solid family support programs and networks established for family members of patients. The best thing you can do for the person you care about is to let them know you are there for them and be supportive in your own creative ways. Support the person through the process by allowing them the freedom to work through the root cause issues. If time and energy are only spent discussing and identifying past surface issues and damage and not the root causes, then at the end of the day, the source of infection remains, and the problems will return. The support family members and friends give to people going through treatment cannot be understated. Going through a treatment program requires a lot of time, effort, and focus. Some people cannot handle the pressure of facing themselves. For others, it is a time to reconcile the past and move toward a bright new and positive future. The support received from family members can be essential stepping stones for moving forward.
In my specific case, I tried to show my support for the person I cared about by sending both short and long letters, some with pictures and some without. However, the real reason was to give that person something to look forward to each day in addition to the phone calls. With permission, I also engaged with other family members, friends, and coworkers as well. I cannot emphasize enough how a strong support network before, during, and after treatment is part of the life-long recovery process. Additional resources can be found in the article "Mental Health and Employee Assistance Program Resources".
Please note, these letters are handwritten and I make no apologies for my handwriting. Additionally, there is some very personal, soul searching, and real human suffering contained within the words of these letters. If you have thin skin, wear your heart on your sleeve, or in general are a sensitive or touchy-feely type of person…then I would not recommend reading these letters in public and I would encourage you to have some tissues readily available.
Any tears that result from reading these letters is not my responsibility as you will be reading words that I poured my heart and soul into that were never intended for public consumption. However, besides bearing my soul yet again, the other benefit of this public disclosure is so the other beautiful and caring women out there know that I have a softer side too. I still have not found what I am looking for so perhaps by sharing these letters, then she will magically appear. It has been a very long wait indeed.
A Husband’s Support Letters To His Wife
Similar to the other information and various multimedia incorporated into my LinkedIn and newsletter articles, the ReportAbuseCayuga.com website, and the "I've Had Enough Cayuga County" YouTube channel, I expect the letters above to be a nice find of some unique gems for creators around the world to help spur your imagination and inspiration for films, plays, novels, and most importantly, lyrics to make some beautiful music.
Creators are free to use the information in these letters to create whatever you wish. You do not need to give me credit for these base resources (the flour for your creative cake), however, please help carry the messages forward in whatever you do in terms of conveying the damage that corruption, child molestation, drug dealing, blackmail, and everything that defines Cayuga County, NY and Cornell University right now given this current situation. It is my hope these letters can also be used to create positive works and messages that result in other people doing GOOD things for other people and caring about their families, friends, and communities once again.
The following are some articles that I hope are helpful for your own treatment and recovery or for someone who you care about. Your support means more to people going through treatment and recovery than you may realize. Be there for them as they would be there for you in your time of need.
